11 Reasons why pregnancy sucks

No offence to the unborn child I'm carrying, but... pregnancy sucks. There are many women out there who LOVE being pregnant. I'm not one of them. And here's why (in no particular order).

1. Morning sickness. First of all, it's not just in the morning. It's all day. And night. For THREE MONTHS. And it isn't just throwing up when you see raw chicken, or smell lunch meat, it is the constant, nagging urge to spill your guts. There were times when I couldn't inhale without gagging.

2. Frequent urination. During the first trimester it is bad enough going every 20 minutes or so. But once you get into your third, you may as well set up office on the toilet.

3. Leg cramps. It's not like, "ooh my calf hurts". It's wake you up from a deep sleep shrieking in pain, grasping at the frozen limb.

4. Discharge. Nobody ever talks about that. It's gross; I won't either.

5. Constipation. You can't imagine how uncomfortable it is to know you have to go, but a head/foot/butt is blocking the passage. I suppose I should also mention the resulting hemorrhoids.

6. Uncontrollable Gas. Keeping on the same subject... I think it is worse somewhere into the second trimester. You can clench those cheeks as tight as you can but as you bend over to pick up eggs at the supermarket, like it or not, it's slipping out.

7. Heartburn. Now I only get heartburn when I'm pregnant, so I really can't compare. But I'm confident that nothing can compete with heartburn so violent that on the best days it only makes your eyes tear, and on its worse, causes sudden projectile vomiting.

8. Swelling. You know, when you retain so much water that shoes don't fit and you can't bend your phalanges.

9. Getting Fat. While we all know it is for a good cause, it is still hard to see your body blow up and change so much that it may never go back to what it once was. I was never confident with my prepregnancy body, but now, after 1 and a half kids, I should kick my own ass for never wearing a bikini.

10. Stretch marks. They're ugly, they're everywhere, they're forever. Badge of honor...hmpf.

11. The Crying. Oooh the crying. And then the crying because you're crying. Vicious, vicious hormones.

Makes you want to have a baby doesn't it?

Although I gripe about the unfortunate side effects of being pregnant, I love my babies, and I endure it for them, and I would put up with more if I had to. No, I can't put my pants on without leaning against something, but when I feel that little life stretch and turn in my belly, I remember why they call it a miracle.