Playground or torture?

Florim and I agree that we hate, hate, HATE the playground.

First of all Arber’s concept of sharing is non-existent. So when we pull up and see that there are kids there with their bikes, or motorized vehicles, we turn pale and our stomachs fall like bricks into our bottoms. But Arber is so excited in the back seat that we look at each other and tell a big fat gorilla lie “he’ll be fine.”

He’s not fine.

He takes over. And although some of the parents are kind enough to pretend that its okay for him to take over their children’s possessions, for me it is like watching a car wreck. It’s horrifying, paralyzing, and there’s nothing I can do about it but wait until I can clean up the mess. If I divert him, he will cause a scene. So if I allow him to infringe on these people’s kindness for a little while, I can at least take comfort in knowing he had some fun before I tear him away kicking and screaming.

Second, not all parents and children are nice. Recently we went to one of the school playgrounds, because it is less crowded and therefore there are fewer opportunities for melt downs. There was a group of boys and another group of girls playing on opposite ends of the playground. Arber went for the boys first, they were closest, and stood among them as they established rules for their game of throw the tennis ball against the wall. Not one of them acknowledged him, even as Arber smiled and jumped up and down and dinga-dinga-da’ed them. After a minute of this he gave up and went after the girls, who were playing a lovely game of house in the tower.

All of a sudden I hear “I don’t like him” followed by a chorus of screams (Arbers included) as they ran away. Arber trails behind like Pepe La Pew laughing and glowing with excitement. “Don’t let the little guy get you” I hear as they run past again screaming. It was a game. And, ironically, he enjoyed it most.

Until I ruined it.

The smallest one started to block and push him away. I was already pissed that the mothers were fine with this, pissed that no one wanted to play with my little boy, but this pushed me over the edge. As kindly as I could I asked her to keep her hands to herself, and reminded her that he only wanted to be friends. Girls are nasty. The look I got in response…I was glad her mother finally called her and threatened to take her home.

Ten minutes later she made good on her threat, and the entire playground was empty.

All I could think about was that this must be how the mothers of the nerdy kids feel when no one likes their child because they wear glasses, or are really into dinosaurs, or talk with a lisp.

My 2 year old cleared out a playground because no one wanted to play with him.

We can’t win.

I smell pee

Me: Do you smell that?
Florim: What? sniffing loudly
Me: It smells like pee!
Florim: Where? looking around
Me: Did he pee somewhere? looking for puddles
Florim: Maybe.
Me: Nothing is wet. now running nose along every inch of the couch and rug
Florim: I smell it. Fix it.

Later that night I mopped all the floors, vacuumed, fabreezed, and disinfected. The source was never determined.

I give us an F in potty training.

11 Reasons why pregnancy sucks

No offence to the unborn child I'm carrying, but... pregnancy sucks. There are many women out there who LOVE being pregnant. I'm not one of them. And here's why (in no particular order).

1. Morning sickness. First of all, it's not just in the morning. It's all day. And night. For THREE MONTHS. And it isn't just throwing up when you see raw chicken, or smell lunch meat, it is the constant, nagging urge to spill your guts. There were times when I couldn't inhale without gagging.

2. Frequent urination. During the first trimester it is bad enough going every 20 minutes or so. But once you get into your third, you may as well set up office on the toilet.

3. Leg cramps. It's not like, "ooh my calf hurts". It's wake you up from a deep sleep shrieking in pain, grasping at the frozen limb.

4. Discharge. Nobody ever talks about that. It's gross; I won't either.

5. Constipation. You can't imagine how uncomfortable it is to know you have to go, but a head/foot/butt is blocking the passage. I suppose I should also mention the resulting hemorrhoids.

6. Uncontrollable Gas. Keeping on the same subject... I think it is worse somewhere into the second trimester. You can clench those cheeks as tight as you can but as you bend over to pick up eggs at the supermarket, like it or not, it's slipping out.

7. Heartburn. Now I only get heartburn when I'm pregnant, so I really can't compare. But I'm confident that nothing can compete with heartburn so violent that on the best days it only makes your eyes tear, and on its worse, causes sudden projectile vomiting.

8. Swelling. You know, when you retain so much water that shoes don't fit and you can't bend your phalanges.

9. Getting Fat. While we all know it is for a good cause, it is still hard to see your body blow up and change so much that it may never go back to what it once was. I was never confident with my prepregnancy body, but now, after 1 and a half kids, I should kick my own ass for never wearing a bikini.

10. Stretch marks. They're ugly, they're everywhere, they're forever. Badge of honor...hmpf.

11. The Crying. Oooh the crying. And then the crying because you're crying. Vicious, vicious hormones.

Makes you want to have a baby doesn't it?

Although I gripe about the unfortunate side effects of being pregnant, I love my babies, and I endure it for them, and I would put up with more if I had to. No, I can't put my pants on without leaning against something, but when I feel that little life stretch and turn in my belly, I remember why they call it a miracle.

32 Weeks

I am suddenly overcome by exhaustion. Now into my 32nd week of pregnancy I'm really starting to feel pregnant (and by that I mean huge and forgetful, and hungry). I'm choosing naps over posting. But soon I will have an update on the thrills of potty training a 2 and a half year old boy. Awesome.

Things I Love

So I've decided to do a fairly regular posting of "Things I Love" here because I like to share, and you know, in case you were wondering.

I'm not a big perfume person, I never have been, but I do like smelling good. I only have 2 perfumes, both of which I love. (I wouldn't mind a bigger selection though, hint hint.) But since it is summertime I feel it is more appropriate to keep it light. I've been using Origins Ginger Essence for a long time now. It is fresh, and soothing, and I can practically bathe in it and not smell like a hooker.

About Me

You can call me Jenn. Inspired by a grade school friend of mine, I have decided to blog again. I have no idea where this is going to take me but I'm sure with all the craziness in my life, someone will be entertained.

I am a wife to a wonderful foreign man with a charming accent, and mother to  his two adorable, but crazy boys. I work full time and go to school half-time. This will be the story of us.

The First

I've been toying with the idea of creating a blog for quite some time now, but never followed through on the idea because 1. who has time to be consistent? and 2. Who, besides my Memaw, would want to read what I have to say? But in an effort to write more, and keep a better record of our life for my children, I am going to give this a real try.
So Memaw, and others, if you are out there, bear with me as I get the hang of this blogging thing.

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